Monday, June 21, 2010

Child Care or Prostitution?

Monday, January 18, 2010

Child-care or Prostitution?

At first glance, those two subjects seem to be worlds apart. However, I was talking to a  pastor's wife the other day and it got me thinking....

I am a converted career woman. When our oldest daughter was little, I dropped her off at daycare every day and headed to my "full filling" job as a paralegal. I was miserable. When I was at home with my family, I felt guilty about not being at work. When I was at work, I felt guilty about not being at home. I knew there had to be more than this, I just didn't know what that might be. When our daughter was about four, God, in His sovereignty, made some amazing changes in our family. He showed me the value of Proverbs 31, but even better, He gave me an older woman to guide me toward my husband, my home and my children, in a very Titus 2 sort of way. I quit my job, started homeschooling, became a homesteader, started having babies and generally did an about face.

Back to the pastor's wife. She provides child care for many families. She and her husband have two children of their own, but she loves little ones, so rather than have more children, she watches other peoples kids. She is a wonderful, caring lady, who wants to serve the Lord in all that she does, but as I sat visiting with her, watching these little ones play and seek her attention and approval, I was grieved.

Proverbs, along with many other sections of scripture, guide women toward our high calling. We have myriad duties in our families. Wife, mother, teacher, cook, housekeeper, organizer to name a few. Each of those duties require time, effort, sacrifice and most of all, love, to accomplish. We have a tough job! But, what if we want to shift some of those responsibilities to someone else? Some jobs are temporal, so parceling them out is neither here nor there. Cleaning can be delegated. Someone can come in to help cook. But what about our wifely duties toward our husbands? That certainly can't be hired out! That would be called prostitution. What wife would ever say "well, I'm tired tonight - I wounder if Jenny down the road could use a few extra dollars?" I don't think so. The relationship between husband and wife is sacred. Can you imagine a pastor standing in the pulpit announcing that the church had started up a program for the husbands in the church to be "cared for"? It would be an all Christian service, so wouldn't that be great? Of course, that would be ludicrous. But we do it all of the time. We do it with our children. Our relationship with our children is eternal. We cannot "prostitute" that duty out to some "daytime caregiver"! And our churches openly advertise from the pulpit - "we now offer christian daytime childcare so that you know your little ones are well cared for while you go off to work". What are we thinking?!?

Our children are precious. They could never do this in daycare....

and definitely not THIS.....

They would miss out on being with their parents and their brothers and sisters....

Please know that I understand that there are some circumstances that make staying home with your children impossible. However, for most of us, it means choosing a different lifestyle. That choice has eternal consequences. Our churches need to be sounding the trumpet. They need to be encouraging mother to love their husbands and children. They need to encourage fathers to the priests, providers, prophets and protectors of their homes. If we do these things our children will rise up and call us blessed!


  1. Wow, this was a gutsy post! Gives me something to think about. If you're wondering what I'm doing way back here, a friend posted a link to one of your later posts on Facebook, so I've been browsing. I just had to comment on this one, since no one else did. I have always been a stay at home, so it doesn't step on my toes, but I'm wondering if I'd have the courage to post it. :) Glad you did, though--very thought-provoking!

  2. You are one of the reasons I will be quitting my job shortly to serve my family....

  3. I remember the feeling of profound security as a child being at home with my mother. I was no taller than the kitchen counter and remember being told that the reason why so many neighborhood kids were always at our house was because their parents worked. In my child's mind, I felt sorry for the kids and thought that their parents didn't love them. I feel truly blessed to have been raised by my own parents.