This is a post specifically written for women. If you aren't a woman, you may wish to politely look the other way!
Ladies, modern society has us completely turned around. We our taught to serve our children and shun our husbands. We build our family's foundation on an alter dedicated to the worship of our young. We cater to their needs, to their desires and to their demands. We place their feelings above all else. We allow them to sleep with us, to interrupt us and to disrespect us. Our children take first place in our lives, with our husbands coming in a distant third.
This cannot be. As wives, it is our duty, and our honor, to respect our husbands. Here's the tricky part. We need to respect them even when they are not respectable. Does that mean that we have to agree with everything they say and do? Of course not, that would be impossible! But it does mean that when we disagree, we must approach them with a high degree of respect and honor. We don't get to tell them how stupid they are or how juvenile or how idiotic they are being. Instead, we gently present our case. And we choose to accept their decision - even if it's wrong.
As Christian women, we are called to honor and respect our husband. Never once does the Bible tell us to honor and respect our husbands if they are honorable - or even respectable. We are told to do it because it is right. Although being respectful to our husbands sometimes seems positively impossible, even odious, the beautiful harvest that we will reap is awe inspiring. What harvest, you ask? You will reap the blessings of a peaceful home. You will reap the blessings of your husband's love. You will reap the blessings of children who, watching your example, will choose to be respectful to you, even when you don't deserve their respect. What you sow in obedience you will harvest in abundance.
Believe it or not, Sir Knight and I are far from perfect. We do not always get along. Sometimes he hurts my feelings. Sometimes I make him angry. Sometimes I think that a lasting marriage is truly an impossibility. But I know the truth of God's word. I know that I am called to respect my husband, no matter what the circumstances. The trick sometimes, is knowing what respect looks like. Over the years, I have found a number of ways that I can be respectful to my husband. These things I do - always - to show my husband respect (even when I don't want to).
- When our family gathers for tea, I always serve Sir Knight first. He is the husband, father, priest prophet, provider and protector. He gets preferential treatment!
- When we share our afternoon tea, small children are not allowed in the kitchen and the older children (who take tea with us) are not allowed to enter our conversation until Sir Knight and I have spent time re-connecting. He gets preferential treatment!
- I never allow the children to interrupt their father. He gets preferential treatment!
- I never volunteer my husband for anything. I ask.
- I never speak unkindly about my husband. He is the man God provided for me. To speak unkindly of my husband would be to speak unkindly about the God who gave him to me.
- I teach my children to love and respect their father. I extol his virtues in front of them and teach them to forgive his human inadequacies.
- I pray for my husband
It is not always easy to be the wife God intends for me to be. I struggle and I fail and sometimes I resent having to be respectful. But in my heart of hearts, I know that God's word is true. I know that God knows what is best for families and that what is best for a family is for the wife to respect her husband and for the husband to love his wife. I need to respect Sir Knight - even when he hasn't earned my respect. And he needs to love me - even when I am unlovable. Obeying the word of God builds a foundation for the family that is indestructible.
Those who have ears, let them hear. The world would have you build your house on the sand, but in Christ, you will build your house on a Rock. Start building today using respect as your mortar. Your house will stand - and your husband will rise and call you blessed.
Note: I am having a difficult time answering comments - not sure what's up. Please feel free to email me directly if you have a question.