Tuesday, October 12, 2010

When does the "victim" become culpable?

I just read an article in our local paper of a man who will be serving a five year prison sentence for not disclosing to his "sex partner" that he had HIV.  For omitting this crucial piece of information, he will be spending a few years behind bars.  My questions is this.  Was the man he had sex with truly a victim?

First of all, doesn't your Bible say that men are not to have indecent relations with other men?  Mine does.  Second, the "victim" was a married man with children.  When you are behaving foolishly and living sinfully, are you truly victimized by the consequences of your foolish sin?  Or are you living out the consequences of your sinful choices.

So many times, we feel like victims or that the world is unjust, when, in reality, we are suffering the consequences of our own actions.  When our truck engine seizes after we have driven it with an oil leak for eight months, it's not unfair, it is the consequence of poor engine maintenance.  When a teenage girl falls pregnant after months of "married behavior", she is not a victim of circumstance, but rather, she is experiencing the consequences of sinful activities.  

God is the father of mercy.  When we repent, he forgives us our sins.  But that doesn't mean that He takes away the consequence of our sins.  In fact, He uses the consequences to draw us to Him.  He allows our pain in order to bring salvation to our souls.  If we let Him, He will turn our mourning into dancing, but not if we don't acknowledge that our sin, did indeed, bring about the consequences that we are experiencing.  If we blame someone else for our predicament, we have learned nothing, and Christ cannot do His finishing work in us.

When we are breaking the law (moral law) and we reap the consequences of those actions, we are not victims.  We are receiving due penalty.  We need to see sin for what it is.  We need to learn from the consequences of our poor choices and not make those choices again.  We need to stand up and take responsibility.

When we engage immoral activities we are not victims.  We are active participants in our own destruction.


  1. We may reap what we sow, and his actions may be inexcusable, however that does not render the other party inculpable. Anyone who can transfer a death sentence of this type has an obligation to disclose that fact to a partner, of the same or opposite sex, married or unmarried, it should make no difference. While the object of unmarried persons is having sex, or homosexuals is engaging in their acts, if one partner fails to disclose a situation which could cause another person's death then they are guilty of either manslaughter, 2d or (in cases where the partner has died and the transfer was intentional without the partner knowing) 1st degree murder. Would you say the same thing if, for example, a man was infected with HIV by let's say unclean medical practices, knowing of his infection but being a virgin, then married a virgin woman but did not tell her of his condition, then infected her - would your opinion change? There are facts and there are facts.

    The facts are:

    Unmarried alduterous relationships are not condoned by God.
    Homosexual relationships are not condoned by God.
    Perversion is not condoned by God.
    Infliction of pain or death on other people is NOT CONDONED BY GOD.
    It is not for us to be so judgmental. We educate our children, so they know better, however let us not forget compassion.

  2. The REAL victim is the married man's poor wife who more than likely had relations with her husband unaware that he was in a homosexual relationship. God forbid that she may be with child from those encounters and have another victim (and HIV baby). Her husband knew that his homosexual activities are HIGHLY LIKELY to be rewarded with HIV. Yet he choose to engage anyway and put his wife and any future babies at risk. How shameful!

  3. In my opinion, the only victim in this story is the wife (and children, but less directly) of the married man who has been having homosexual relations. That wife may be infected with any number of sexually transmitted diseases, and none of them due to her transgressions, but his. He is a selfish, uncaring man who will reap what he has sown. If I were the judge in this case, I would have had them both put in prison for their dangerous behavior. They could then "enjoy" all the homo behavior that takes place in prisons. It would be a just punishment, just like in Dante's Inferno.

    This is actually a very timely topic for me.
    I have a friend who has been complaining to me about her job. She has been complaining about it for at least 2 years. She is in every way playing the part of the victim. I try to gently point out how she will have to change her attitude if she wants to move beyond this 2-year obsession. I am not very good at being gentle and subtle, so I am surprised she still speaks to me. LOL But I see her not as a victim, as she sees herself, but as a whiner and complainer whom no boss would want on his payroll. People need to take a good, hard look at their behavior and then own it. How much better off we would all be if we took responsibility for our own actions! Lawyers would be unhappy, but everyone else would be much better off.

    NoCal Gal

  4. Enola Gay said it much better than I ever could.

    NoCal Gal

  5. There is God's law, and in breaking it we WILL suffer the consequences of our choice of action. And there is man's law, and in breaking that we MAY suffer the consequences of our choice of action.

    Non-disclosure (dishonesty) resulted in the consequence of a prison sentence for one man. Sodomy resulted in a death sentence (by HIV) for another. While one man may have been innocent of breaking any of man's laws (depending on the state's sodomy and adultery laws), neither was innocent of breaking God' laws. While one man may have victimized another, the only innocent victims in all of this are the wife and children of the newly infected.

    It is easy to feel sorrow for the wife and children, fury at her husband, and contempt for the man who infected him. It is easy to say that compassion requires repentance. However, God had compassion on me when I was still in my sins. God's compassion in no way enabled me to continue to sin, with or without immediate consequences. Therefore, I must be an example of the same - compassion with consequences, hatred for the sin, but love for the lost sinner. I find this... difficult.

    Xa Lynn