Saturday, November 19, 2011

Women of Honor

Recently, a reader posted (actually, I think it may have been spam) on my blog denigrating American women.  His opinion was thus:

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

Now, to be sure, I am an American woman that meets one of those criteria.  To my great shame, I am overweight.  However, the more I thought about this rant, the more I realized the man was off the mark.  The reality is, being American has nothing to do with being a dishonorable woman.  Being a feminist does.  The enemy's lie of feminism has stripped women of their natural beauty, rendering them ugly in the sight of men seeking feminine beauty.

As I contemplated true feminine beauty, I realized that the bible has given us all of the tools necessary to be truly beautiful.  Titus 2 tells us that older women should not be false accusers, shouldn't drink much wine, be teachers of good things.  It goes on to say that we should teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands and to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands.  Does that sound anything like what the commenter described "American Women" to be?

In 1 Peter 2 servants are told to be subject to their masters, with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward (difficult to deal with; contrary), but the real kicker happens in 1 Peter 3.  Here is says LIKEWISE, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversations coupled with fear.  As women, we are to be subject to our husband EVEN if (and when) they are contrary!  How is that for a hard task!?!  And then, in Ephesians 5 it says, Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.

We American Women need to take back our femininity.  As beguiling as the world is, with it's promises of freedom, glory and fulfillment, it really is nothing more than a pit of emptiness.  While it's true that women are capable and strong in their own right, our true strength is uncovered when we submit to our husbands.  It takes great strength to submit.  Being kind and gentle when your husband has been angry and unreasonable with you is truly a difficult task, but an unsurpassed thing of beauty.  Loving your children with patience at the end of a grueling, stressful day appears as pearls around your neck.  And the eternal value of being a woman of honor is unparalleled.  You, as a Godly woman, can affect your children's, your husband's, and untold other souls for eternity.

There is humility and self-sacrifice required to be quintessentially feminine.  You will have to deny yourself and serve others.  But the process will eternally change you.  Your beauty, once fading, will begin to emanate from your very being.  Every time you gently touch your cranky child or caress your contrary husband, looking adoringly into his eyes, true beauty will envelop you.

You don't have to be a quintessentially American woman.  You can be a quintessentially feminine woman.  You can wear your femininity like a garland around your neck.  All you have to do is obey God.  Love your husband.  Love your children.  Live for them - not for you.

Being a Woman of Honor is not for the faint of heart.  It is the hardest thing you will ever do.  But, it is rich, it is fulfilling and it is right.  And, it is truly beautiful.


  1. Wow-to take spam and create a lovely well written post is fantastic.

    Thank you for your inspiring words! I love being a woman and try very hard to place my eyes upon the bible for the way I am to act. I am far from perfect but it is my goal.


  2. I try to be a help meet to my husband. Sometimes, it is very difficult for me as I am strong-willed and opinionated. It is only by God's grace that I can be the help meet that He wants me to be for my husband.
    As far as the weight "thing", I think skinny women are not pretty. A woman was made in such a way as to carry more weight. Society tries to shove the thin look down our throats. Yuck! If a person becomes ill and is already "rail thin", they cannot lose any weight without becoming more ill. If you have a little extra weight, then if you lose some to illness, you will still be a healthy weight when you recover. By your pictures, your are not obese so please be comfortable in your own skin. True beauty comes from what is in your heart and that is the beauty that counts.

  3. What a beautiful picture of a true woman, better yet, a lady. (there are not many lady's left). Thank you for being so full of grace and sharing how to be a woman of God, no matter the circumstances. It is an honor to love and submit to our husband's and to love our children. (not easy, but very rewarding)

  4. Excellent post. The man who left the comment truly needs our prayers. Sounds like he was hurt badly in a relationship.

  5. Beautiful comment, Thank you. I am linking this to my blog to comment more on this.

  6. I gotta throw my two cents worth in on this one. I have never been married, no kids. I came close to getting married some years ago to a woman I probably should have kept, but I was younger and had to go off and conquer the world.
    I have not dated in quite awhile and I most likely will remain single. Its getting harder, and harder to find a tradional down to earth woman. I see woman with tatoo's and have cell phones that are going non-stop. The name of the games is who do you work for, what do you do? (translation, how much money do you make) It seems if the last two generations of Americans have been raised by MTV and shows like "Jersey Shore", and sitcoms where family members are being constatly put down and disrespected.

    To be fare, men do not grow up in our society now. We now have constant football and man caves filled with high dollar toys so the inner twelve year old boy never grows up. There are fewer and fewer (MIT's) men in training being raised in America.

    In time I will try and purchase a house in a more rural area and maybe there I will bump into a nice woman that will know more about her AR-15 than her cell phone and can cook too. Whatever God has in store for me I will go along with. I am fortunate to have a house with extra supplies, food etc. My truck is paid for and I am living the American dream, minus the wife and 2.5 kids.

  7. Enola,
    You are such a God serving inspiration to all of us older women who are passing on our biblical feminine values and womanly mentoring roles onto other younger women and men that we serve.

    You are so correct, they learn from what they see us actually do daily in our lives, and not so much from what we instruct or say for them to do, without setting example of those actual practices from ourselves, the lesson to them is only seen as 1/4 done.

    It's hard to always keep your husband in his knightly position as ruler of the household. Especially when the whole of the household, or the farm, becomes the responsibility of the woman,
    to be the keeper and overseer in his long absences while he toils with work.

    But, that servitude has become my gift in return to my husband, and to God and to the life we chose to lead for ourselves and for the betterment of our community.
    I give thanks to God and to my husband for the toil and rewards he graces us with every minute of our day, as a result of his long hours of work, to uphold his commitment and responsibilities to keep this household well fed, warmed, watered, and a household that remains forever beholdened to God in thankfulness for his blessings bestowed to us all.

    Thank you for reminding me of our biblical womanly purposes to our men.

    The honorable and beautiful woman in the picture above this posting has an enlarged thyroid.

    Please encourage her to have her thyroid blood levels checked.

    God Bless you and yours Enola!

  8. In some respects I have to agree with the men.

    Yet, there ARE good women out here who are feminine, love homemaking, love and respect their husband and their family, treat their man like the "man of the home", like to look good - clean, smell good, neatly dressed (doesn't have to be expensive to be clean) have exemplary values, are God-loving, just like the Proverbs 31 woman. If I were a man (I'm a woman who loves being a woman!) and looking for a good woman, I'd have to look a whole lot harder.

    Women today look and dress like slobs - stringy hair, sloppy appearance, fat guts hanging over the belt of their stretch trousers (you get the picture) - at least where I live they do. They look like their husbands brothers or just another guy "pal" rather than someone a hard working man would love to come home to.

    Feminists, drugs, alcohol, Hollyweird "hotties" have made their demonizing mark in our society, to our great detriment. And most have followed like sheep becaue they can't think for themselves.

    To the men I'd say, if you have a Proverbs 31 woman, cherish her. God's word tells us, whether a man, woman or child - exactly how to treat each other - His law of love, His majestic and magnificent Ten Commandments - the 1st 4 tell us how to love and worship God, the Creator of the universe and everything in it. In the 2nd 6 He tells how to treat, honor and love each other as His creation. There is no guess work where God is concerned!

  9. There are plenty of good people Out There in the world-male and female. It's just that creeps make more noise and get noticed. Who get noticed more? A few hundred protesors in need of a bath, or half a million decent people who volunteer their time,money and talents every day to help people?
    Like Captain Crunch, I'm minus the wife and 2.5 children. I'm not sure I would want to wish myself on some woman-I've been single too long,I think.
    There are plenty of wonderful women out there-you just gotta look. You gets what you looks for.
    I'm not much of a Doomsday person-there are far more decent folks of all ages than you might think. If this wasn't the case, we would have eradicated ourslves as soon as we got the ability to do so.

  10. Thank you Enola, being a hard-headed woman I need these reminders sometimes. I try to be a Proverbs 31 wife but then there are those times that I slip, so again, thanks for the reminder, I've worked harder at it all day. :)

  11. @ CaptainCrunch, I have a sister who fits your requirements. My mom raised all 5 of us girls according to Prov. 31 and our 2 brothers to be worthy of Prov.31 ladies. I am still working on those traits. But my husband and I have only been married for a little over 18 years, we still have time to grow.

    Excellent post, Enola.

  12. A man's perspective.

    Let's suppose all that was said about the quality of American women in general is true. If so, what is a Christian man's Godly response to such a situation? To cast stones and lament the situation? Hardly.

    I believe a similar criticism could be framed regarding the behavioral qualities of most American men. But would this be time well spent? Perhaps only to frame the problem.

    The Bible gives us a picture, just a clear as the one Enola outlined for women, as to the qualities of a Godly man. I leave the enumeration of those character traits as an exercise for the reader. One thing's for certain – whining about the problem isn't one of them.

    So what can a man do to improve the Christian character of American women?

    1)Pray to God that he would help you to become a man of Christian character, for His sake.
    2)Lead by example, that other men might follow the same path – pointing always to God, not to self.
    3)Find a woman of Christian character and marry her. (Proverbs 18:22). Difficult? Maybe. Impossible? No.
    4)Love her. Prefer her needs above your own.
    5)If you are blessed with children, make it your life's work to raise Godly young women, and Godly young men in your own home.
    6)Fulfill your own role in training the next generation; and the next. Support your wife as she does the same.

    Recognizing the problem is a good first step, as awareness always precedes control. It is the solution however which begs our attention.

  13. Wonderful post... I've always had trouble accepting that I must submit to my future husband (still just a kid, right now.) but it really is just pride and I need ot get over it. Thank you so much for putting these out there...

  14. if its okay with Enola, I want to post my e-mail address for Tricia if she wants to pass this onto her sister.
    I kinda like being single, however I really can see the appeal of being married and having a true companion for life. Romance and lust may fade away, but the love, dedication and companionship I see in old married couples is something I find very appealing (having a wife with her own AR rifle would really be cool too)

  15. Captaincrunch;
    If this goes anywhere and there are wedding bells in your future - we SO expect an invitation!!!!

  16. Enola,
    We ALL want to celebrate in the joining of marriage of a new Christian couple.
    Captaincrunch, looks like you need to plan on a big gathering.


  17. What can you say. If you go fishing in a sewer you won't like what you catch.
    The big smoke produces neither men nor women of good character in quantity.

  18. Thank you for a very insightful post. Sadly, the initial poster was right in many respects. The women he referenced do exist in America. Even more tragically, they exist in the Christian community. As Christians, these are the people to exhort and speak with, and train in the way of Christ, as you have laid out in your very articulate post. In a Christian the core problem, that of a sinful, unrepentant soul, has been solved through submission to Christ. A non Christian still has that core problem; a soul that is bound by sin, and bound to sinful behavior. As to non-Christians, they are living the life of a non-Christian. No matter how whitewashed or dilapidated their exterior, if the soul is void of Christ, they all will meet the same end. By living out the life of a godly woman, Christian women can be examples to the world, and a living testimony to the world. Only by whitewashing the soul, through the blood of Christ, can a person's exterior become truly clean. -Papa

  19. "Women today look and dress like slobs - stringy hair, sloppy appearance, fat guts hanging over the belt of their stretch trousers (you get the picture) - at least where I live they do."


    First I'd just like to say 'overgeneralization'. If anything we have a beauty obsessed culture. Women must be thin; thin enough to match the size zero models who have been Photoshopped to make magazine covers more appealing and more unrealistic. They mustn't have wrinkles or gray hair; if they do they must cover it up, immediately. They must always be perfectly put together, always, because if they fail to please those around them, it will reflect badly on them.

    I highly suggest reading the following article, 'There is no unmarked woman':

    But regardless, even if we accept your comment as the absolute truth...well then, so what?

    A woman is not an object placed on this earth purely to please you. She is not a statue upon a pedestal nor a painting for you to display. Her life and body are her own. She does not belong to you.

    Hygiene is always appreciated, but if she chooses to dress comfortably- then so what?

    If she feels good in her own skin, and is comfortable in her own body- then so what?

    If she puts aside societies expectations of perfection in order to focus on a sense of self she finds to be more important be it her own spiritual development or her pursuit of understanding then so what.

    If a woman does not have the time and money to look after herself and still get the bills paid, her family taken care of, and the keeping the house together and she'd rather put all that before her appearance- then so what?

    Who are you to judge?

    I've always heard vanity was a sin, and while my own belief is that a woman should simply be allowed to be comfortable in her own skin, however much make up this may or my not involve, this still makes sense to me.

    I think the Lord's more concerned with a woman's heart and mind and soul than her body. What does it matter to Him if her neighbors approve of the way she looks if she's showing a heart full of compassion towards his people and holding his praises in her heart?

    "The reality is, being American has nothing to do with being a dishonorable woman. Being a feminist does. The enemy's lie of feminism has stripped women of their natural beauty, rendering them ugly in the sight of men seeking feminine beauty."

    I absolutely cannot disagree more.

  20. Consider this from Pope Pius XI's Casti Conubii:

    26. Domestic society being confirmed, therefore, by this bond of love, there should flourish in it that "order of love," as St. Augustine calls it. This order includes both the primacy of the husband with regard to the wife and children, the ready subjection of the wife and her willing obedience, which the Apostle commends in these words: "Let women be subject to their husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ is the head of the Church."[29]

    27. This subjection, however, does not deny or take away the liberty which fully belongs to the woman both in view of her dignity as a human person, and in view of her most noble office as wife and mother and companion; nor does it bid her obey her husband's every request if not in harmony with right reason or with the dignity due to wife; nor, in fine, does it imply that the wife should be put on a level with those persons who in law are called minors, to whom it is not customary to allow free exercise of their rights on account of their lack of mature judgment, or of their ignorance of human affairs. But it forbids that exaggerated liberty which cares not for the good of the family; it forbids that in this body which is the family, the heart be separated from the head to the great detriment of the whole body and the proximate danger of ruin. For if the man is the head, the woman is the heart, and as he occupies the chief place in ruling, so she may and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love.

    28. Again, this subjection of wife to husband in its degree and manner may vary according to the different conditions of persons, place and time. In fact, if the husband neglect his duty, it falls to the wife to take his place in directing the family. But the structure of the family and its fundamental law, established and confirmed by God, must always and everywhere be maintained intact .

  21. P.S.~ I love your blog and have referred it to many others. Though you are not Catholic, sometimes you sound pretty Catholic. We agree on quite a bit. :)

  22. The things you describe are the qualities of a decent human being, not feminine qualities. We should expect them of men as well as women. Being kind and gentle in the face of someone who is unreasonable and angry has nothing to do with being a woman. It has to do with being tolerant and understanding. Men should be expected to do the same. They don't get a free pass for bad behaviour just because they have penises. The Bible should tell men to submit to women just as women apparently should submit to men - there is no inherent superiority in men that is any good reason for women to grovel at men's feet. Marriage should be partnership - not ownership.