Wednesday, July 24, 2013

A Gift Fit For.....Me!


Another year has come and gone and my birthday is quickly approaching.  About a month ago, my folks asked me what I wanted for my birthday.  They were expecting a list of little things that would delight me - things that I would never buy for myself.  My quick reply (I had been thinking about this for some time) caught them off-guard and had them cracking up - I wanted an outhouse.

My dad chuckled, asked if I wanted it to look like the one I had grown up with (that still stands guard at my parent's house) and if I wanted any odd "Enola-like" modifications.  I said that one like theirs would be perfect, although I didn't need for it to be a "two-holer",  and if he could come up with a way to add a urinal, that would be delightful.

Over the next few weeks, mom would ask me a cryptic question from time-to-time, leading me to believe that there was an outhouse in my very near future.  I was thrilled!  Finally, last week, mom and dad called and informed me that they would be bringing a "surprise" soon and I needed to have a hole dug that was deep and slightly smaller than four feet by four feet wide.

Oh, the excitement!  A friend came over over with his tractor and augured a number of holes close together and then drug the auger through them to break up the dirt.  After the tractor had done its work, Sir Knight and Master Calvin went to work with their shovels and post-hole diggers.  Soon, a hole fit for an outhouse began to take shape.

Master Calvin excavating the hole

Man-in-Training at work!
Yesterday, my parents, pulling a trailer, made their way up our driveway.  The smiling faces of my mom and dad, and our eldest son, Master Hand Grenade (who has been living at my folks while working for a local contractor), shone through the windows, waving and they pulled up to the front door.  On the trailer was a rustic, beautiful, outhouse, wrapped in bright yellow "Police Line - Do Not Cross" tape.

Within 15 minutes, that outhouse had been unloaded (with the help of a friend on his tractor equipped with forks) and slid into position over the awaiting hole.  Success!  For the first time since I was a child, I had my very own outhouse!

The outhouse was beautiful - but what made it even more special, was the fact that it had been built by my father and my son, working side by side.  They had used boards that had been pulled off our original homestead barn (the one I used to hate cleaning when I was a kid) that was well over 150 years old.  Having that outhouse is like having a little piece of "home" in my own backyard.

My lovely outhouse!

The silver dome hides the toilet paper
and yes, those are magazines in the
box on the wall!
After hugging and hugging and hugging Master Hand Grenade (he has been gone since the middle of May), I headed "out back" to get a good look at the masterpiece my parents had brought.  What can I say?  It is perfect.  My dad explained how he had pieced the building together, making the most of his old lumber.  He showed me what Master Hand Grenade had done, and told me how they had worked together, making sure the outhouse was just right.  He showed me the urinals he had installed - a little one (for Master Calvin) that he had fashioned out of an antique diary funnel that mom had found at an antique store and another one on the other side for the grown-up men.  He showed me that he had built it on skids so that we could easily move it when the time came for a new hole and that he had installed eye-bolts on the side so that we could tie the outhouse down if need be.

I am delighted!

A wee-little urinal (with tubing leading into the hole)

And a urinal for the big guys

Built-in shelves for this and that

Built on pressure-treated skids!
Why an outhouse, you ask?  It just makes sense.  If there comes a time when fuel is too expensive to afford or just plain unavailable, we will want to use our generator sparingly - only for absolute necessities.  Our lighting (and other electrical usage) will be supplied by our solar panels, we'll turn our refrigerator off.  We'll heat our water with wood and cook our food on the wood cookstove.  The only thing we will use our precious fuel supplies for will be pumping water - and I don't mean pumping water to flush down the toilet.  We will use water for drinking, for animals, for cleaning and for gardening - but not for flushing!

Next on my list of things to do?  A root cellar!  And then a barn and fencing and an ice house and ........

27 comments:

  1. lucky youse. peace, shadowfaxhound

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  2. We have a passive (no lift pumps) septic system for our house. My thought for an outhouse would be to merely pull the lid off the first septic tank, and park the outhouse over it. That way we can still take advantage of the (oversized) septic system and leach field. In our case the lid for the tank is even in a very convenient location that can be reached in only a few steps from our house. (Great for bad weather.)

    Now to get the outhouse built, or at least have parts and plans so one could be put together quickly. Maybe something as simple as a tent over a seat.

    Pity the folk on a municipal sewer system. Most of those use lift pumps. According to what I heard from FEMA, one of their big new concerns is the large number of houses that will become uninhabitable once the power is off for a couple of days, because of backing up sewer systems with no power for lift pumps. Apparently there are many sewer systems with no backup generator power for the lift pumps. Ugh!

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    1. Nice idea, but it won't work. If you pull the septic tank cover and allow oxygen to enter, you no longer have a septic tank - you'll have a large tank of rotting sewage. A septic tank digests it 'product' by utilizing anaerobic organisms in an air tight space. These organisms cannot survive in the presence of fresh air.

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    2. Wow, Ron G, thanks for that reply! I may have been screwing up my septic system for years now without realizing it.

      We live way out in the country also, with septic system and leach field. But just out from under the house, on the line to the septic tank, is a line coming up to the surface with a screw-on lid on it (about a 6-inch line, I'm guessing). I routinely unscrew it to dump my port-a-potty after a camping trip. I would think I am then introducing air into the system, so am I then messing up the system?

      If you happen to read this post, please respond and let me know. Thanks for that important information. I thought I had a great disposal system all these years!

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  3. Beautiful!! I guess that many "normal" people would say that it's odd to say "beautiful" about an outhouse, but I am jealous :)

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    1. Lol! I agree with you. Most people don't see the beauty in an outhouse. But I do and I am also jealous.
      sincerely R.

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  4. Really nice loo. I'd treat the cut ends of the pressure treated wood sliders with some copper-green though, otherwise the wood could rot from the inside out.

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  5. That thing will be a bug haven of the worst sort. I know you need ventilation but it seems like there would be a better system for that than just gaps in the wood.

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    1. I agree!!! Maybe if you take some fine mesh screen and staple it to the inside covering each gap you'd still get the ventilation with no bugs, especially flies in the summer months.

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  6. I think its perfect!! what a great gift. The gift of independence!

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  7. How wonderful! Happy Birthday :)

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  8. How glorious that is, and brings back memories of long ago when my parents built me a wonderful outhouse as a mothers' day gift. My parents lived in a very upscale subdivision and built the outhouse in the yard. Their neighbors were VERY curious. It had a lantern hook, bookshelves and a fiberglass roof so it was light and airy inside. Family is so delightful.

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    1. I love the idea of the fiberglass roof. Outhouses can be gloomy inside in the winter.

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  9. Why the urinals? When you're a guy, the world is your urinal!

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  10. Outhouses are terrific - especially when you've been out in the garden or barns and don't want to dash all the way into the house when nature calls. I keep the extra toilet paper in Tupperware containers (mouse/bug proof) on a shelf built above the door. That space is usually wasted so makes good storage.
    Is the silver dome where you keep the toilet paper?
    I don't find the bugs to bad in mine. When the mood strikes I sprinkle a pot full of hot lime down the hole in the summer time.
    One of my best trades was for a leaded glass bathroom window for my outhouse - it's not see through but lets the light in - purdy darn fancy for an outhouse. I was reading that in the good old days people would plant hollyhocks near the outhouse. Visiting ladies would ask "where are your hollyhocks"...rather than asking where the facilities were. I've been meaning to plant some hollyhocks!

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  11. Clever urinals! Love it. Perfect gift!

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  12. It's also great for those situations where there may be a long line to the can-it's a reliable backup..

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  13. Enola,

    Happy Birthday! I love your gift, it's a beautiful out house.

    Your Dad, Mom, and Son did a fabulous job on making it and capturing all the details.

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  14. I love it. It is the prettiest outhouse I have ever seen. And very practical. Happy birthday.

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  15. That is so awesome, practical, and special! Happy birthday!

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  16. That's a right fancy privy, Ma'am! What a lovely and useful gift, even more so with the fond memories of your father and son. That TP holder and candelabra are especially elegant. I hope you will have many years to enjoy it. Happy birthday!

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  17. Dear Enola Gay,
    What a great gift idea! Congrats on receiving something so useful from those who love you. Best wishes to you all!
    I have learned a great deal from your blog. Thanks.
    I do have a question that might be relevant to others here: do you not have some kind of restrictions on using outhouses due to ground water contamination concerns? I know that that might sound strange for folks in a farming area, where animals are using Nature all the time, but local governments and EPA can have a long reach when it comes to human waste. Did you check on the local regs or didn't it occur to anyone? Also, the local water table has to be considered before you just dig a convenient hole and plop an outhouse over it. Where I live, in well-watered and well watered Virginia, outhouses can be very problematic. That said, should power for the pump become an issue, we would not hesitate to find a convenient bush.

    Also, is there a way to communicate with you other than by comments on your blog?

    Thanks again.

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  18. After reading all the comments, I am so surprised that there are so many of us with fond memories and deep desires for an outhouse! And here, again, I thought I was the weird one for wanting one here on my property.

    I have been pestering my husband for years to build me one, not only for coming times, but also out near the garden so that when I am working out there (it's a ways back to the house) and nature calls, or I am muddy, there is a nice convenient (and private) place to go. The best I have gotten so far is a port-a-pottie on a stump in a screened area made out of tarps. Not quite the glamorous one your family built for you (and I, too, think that yours is very beautiful and yes, glamorous!--although I really would love to see the lady's one with the stained glass window--now THAT would really go nice with the silver dome and candelabra!). Adding hollyhocks, and upper-class fancy-schmancy all the way!!!!

    My outhouse kept getting moved down the list of all the important things that need building (in my sweetie's defense, he is out on the road most of the year, so the few times he's home for very long, there are a million building projects and he has so very little time, so it's always prioritized and another bathroom just never seemed to stay up high enough on the list of necessities). But he is definitely going to see pictures of yours when he comes home next. Maybe after the greenhouse is finished this fall, I'll get my outhouse built near it and the garden! Yeah!!

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  19. Ah, yes. We had TWO outhouses growing up! With a family of 8 and only 1 bathroom until I was 6, they were an absolute necessity! Although, I never understood the double hole outhouse we had. I mean, I really don't want to share the experience! Happy Birthday dear friend!

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  20. Late to the party, but I just watched an episode of The Woodwright's shop where he was touring his family's Civil War era homestead. They had a four-seater outhouse and he explained that the seats weren't for sharing, the holes were all different sizes. Little holes for little bums and bigger holes for bigger bums and everyone could choose a hole they liked. Kinda like Goldilocks. He also talked about the outhouse being 100 feet away from the house and that was still too far in the winter and too close in the summer (I'm assuming for odiferous reasons). Also the door was left open in the summer even while in use but it opened to the inside so you could kick it shut really quick if you heard someone approaching. It was most educational, my husband took notes and is planning our own outhouse for our farm.
    LWM in NC

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